My Bio gives you an idea of my dedication to my path as a healer and my intensive and extensive training in this life, but it doesn’t share the personal transformation, passion, and purpose that has put me on this particular path, the path of a healer
I will say that sure, we all have choice, except that in this case I am not so sure I really did. I was born into a family with a tremendous amount of pain and dysfunction. I wont go into the details, but I will say it is a miracle that I survived. I had several nervous breakdowns between the ages of 23 – 25. I was by myself for all of them. Some spiritual teachings suggest that a nervous breakdown is similar to a spiritual awakening; a time of rapid release of old pain, conditions, and false self. One Doctor suggested I take more iron, that would probably help me. I remember thinking if I don’t get out of here I will die. There is no one here that can help me become who I truly am. No one here understands me. I left the midwest and free spirited my way from Iowa to Boulder to Denver to Seattle. Even though I did not have much…. I had a tremendous amount of courage, a strong spirit, and nothing to lose.
I tried to go to a regular college and failed horribly. I tried to go to a community college, a trade school for art, and another college…I failed at all of those as well. There wasn’t much I could hold onto during that time, especially not much in a traditional sense. Eventually I went to massage school and I found something that I didn’t fail at, something I understood, and something that allowed me to grow and change. This was the beginning of my souls deepest work, and my purpose in this lifetime.
Two years before I started Massage School I went through a very dark night of the Soul ~ A Shaman’s death. I was in an intense cycle of depression that lasted almost 2 years. I had never experienced anything like this before and it was terrifying. I couldn’t hold a job. A psychologist had just told me I was too depressed to help. I was on medication that made me feel more crazy than the depression. Fortunately, I had two people in my life who saw who I was and believed in me. Sometimes, that’s all it takes. One was Jeremy (who is now my husband & it is amazing that he stayed with me during that very intense time ~ true love). The other was an astrologer who lived in my apartment building, she told me I would be healing with my hands, communicating about transformation, I was a healer and I healed with light. I had no idea how that was me, or how I would even get from where I was to that which was written in the stars for me, but I did know that this lady spoke words to me that started to awaken me to a truth that I knew deep in my bones. I studied herbs and found blends that helped ease the darkness. I painted, journaled, & studied everything metaphysical that I could get my hands on. I started massage school during my first saturn return and also met my first spiritual teacher shortly after. A friend had given me a number for a Reiki Teacher, she had just learned Reiki and thought I would like it. Another friend gave me a number for a psychic, she thought a reading might help me. Guess what, they both handed me the same number. Every time I had a break during Massage School, I would study with my teacher and learn another level of Reiki. I graduated from Massage school, became a Reiki Master, started teaching Reiki with a passion, and started growing in ways I never imagined. That was 15 years ago. I am amazed at what I have become, amazed at the power of transformation, and amazed at the power of energy, healing, divinity, and love. That is the passion that fuels my work.
My path of personal healing has also been a path of spiritual awakening. I don’t know if that happens to everyone, but it is what happened for me. I believe we all come in with layers to heal, issues to look at, things to sort out. As I humbly began my journey of shedding my layers, healing my pain, transforming my soul ~ I was led to many who also became my teachers, my advisors, and my mentors. So you see, some may look at my beginnings and think how awful I had to experience all that, and yet if I had not experienced all that…..would I be who I am today? Would I understand healing and transformation and spiritual truth so well? Probably not. The darkness of the beginning of my journey lead me into the light of who I am today.